You Own Worst Enemy

You're your own
worst enemy
You're a walking catastrophe

You get up every morning
on the wrong side of the bed
You butter your hand
instead of the bread
Drink enough coffee
to wake the dead.

You're doing 85
and the light is turning red
The judge took your license
and forbid you to drive
And your heart is pumping bacon
and you're barely alive

You're your own worst enemy
You're a walking catastrophe
You're at war
with yourself and nobody else
You're a danger.
You're a danger

You trip on your shoelace
and fall on your face
Your hair is a mess,
your clothes a disgrace
Your stocks went south
and your girlfriend is gay
Your dog ate your cat
and that was your good day

You're your own worst enemy
You're a walking catastrophe
You're at war
with yourself
and nobody else
You're a danger

You're your own worst enemy
You're a walking catastrophe
You're at war
with yourself and nobody else
You're a danger
You're a danger
To every stranger
You're a mess
Yes, yes