It Doesnt Matter Now

memory is such a fickle friend
it can hold on to the pain of yesterday
and this place has no pity it’s not hard to hate this city
til you think you’ve found your own place in the sun
you are haunted by the spaces that she leaves
make you want to look the other way
she’s the answer to the question you didn’t want to ask
the one you’ve been avoiding everyday

it doesn’t matter now
it didn’t matter then
the only thing we choose
is how to feel when we’re losing
and once the page is read
it’s better thrown away

were you stopped by the dancing, the loving standing up?
stopped by the laughing in the face of giving up?
stopped by the past when the future looked so good?
would you dance on your own grave
if you thought you could?
was she satisfied to simply walk away
to drop you from her life without a trace?
was she seeing another as you looked into her eyes
or only the reflection of her face?

you’ve been carrying that torch for far too long
to grieve beside a hole that isn’t there
for the first time in your life be as brave as you are scared
and live it like you’ve lived it once before
live it
like you’ve lived it
once before

it doesn’t matter now
it didn’t matter then
the only thing we choose
is how to feel when we’re loosing
and once the page is read
it’s better thrown away