I Sell Comics

What manner of creature
Stands behind this counter
Man or machine is the big mystery
And with every transaction
Comes a sweet satisfaction
As I cement my place in history.
(Come on buy one you can have any one)
It's just another sale
(Come on buy one you can't get enough)
To this comics-selling alpha male.

I could sell comics to a blind man
(A Wednesday warrior through and through)
And you'll buy everything I tell you to.
I sell comics baby.
(Come on buy one you can have any one)
I sell comics baby
(Come on buy one you can't get enough)
Ooooooo......yeeeeaahh!

My fingers dance over
The cash register
You look so surprised
I leave your mouth agape
And it's not just cause
I make King Kong
Look like just another ape
But it's just another sale
(Come on buy one you can't get enough)
To this comics-selling alpha male.

[Chorus]

(In WWII the allies kicked nazi ass and Hitler sobbed nein, nein, nein just like my competition when they hang that going out of business sign)

[Chorus]