Depression Party

I can't begin to explain
all the things that I lost because of playing this game
all the FLOWERS THAT FAILED TO BLOOM
the perpetual sorrow as reality comes into view
I turned this FLAME into a SPARK/my roar decays into a bark
the smoke/the drinks/the friends/the scum
I tried I swear that I tried but I'm done/I'm done
always a way to make you think it's ok
but then reality spits in your face
from the bottom I can see how they make it seem
but don't believe in all the bullshit in your magazines
GOODBYE to days of grace/welcome my GRAVE DISGRACE
another way just to capitalize on your dreams
this is not the way you wanted it to be
so much to say about the way it was/they took it all from us
so much to take, they took it all from us
yea it's all been said and done
and it's all been said and done before
they'll suck you dry until you've lost it all
you don't mean a thing to them
and they will never break your fall


"everybody jockin hard when you're top dog
but when your chips are down/where the fuck they all gone
INTEGRITY don't mean shit in this INDUSTRY
so lean on the few who true/and always in ourselves believe
hate all you want it only adds to our determination
all you doubting fucks will see exactly what were made of"

when all is said and done
you never stood a chance
against a world that didn't want your love
and you tried to tell yourself
that everything would work itself out
but you don't have that luck
now that everyone is gone
you've come to realize you function better alone
and with a lack of love
you've found a better understanding of the way this works
amen to the things we loved/and the DYING YOUTH within all of us
so much to say the way it was/so much to take they took from us

"I'll take it from the top so you can understand
I think it's the boy in me understanding becoming a man
and let me say something no one held my hand
now anxiety ridden inside/shit has hit the fan
my heart races from wake to sleep
head slow I barely got the stomach to eat
got nowhere to run and retreat
nerves got me on the edge of my seat
what the fuck happened to me?"

hatred for myself