Dr.Suess vs. Shakespeare

Shakespeare:

Come bite my thumb
I hope you know the stakes
I'll put a slug between your shoulder blades
Then ask what light through yonder poser breaks?

I hath been iambic on that ass
Ye bastard
My rhymes are classic
Your crap is drafted by a kindergartner
High on acid

Ye hoebag
You're an old white Soulja boy
who has no swag
And no gonads
Egads it's so sad

And to top it off you're not a doctor
I've never seen a softer author
You crook, you
I bet you wrote the Twilight books too

Cat in the hat:

I would not could not on a boat
Read any of the boring ass plays you wrote
Even Horton doesn't wanna hear you
And Cindy Lou Who is afraid to go near you

You bore people to death
You leave a class room looking like the end of Macbeth
I entertain a child of any age
You have to translate what you said on the opposite page

How you gonna battle with the Cat In The Hat?
Little kids get scared when I step on the mat
You think your ruffled neck ass gonna rap to that?
I got a best selling book about me coming back

Shakespeare:

I'm switching up my style like the Beatles with my pieces
Each is such a wonder with a plethora of features
You're pathetically predictable
You think your new book
Might include a trisyllabic meter
And some ghetto Muppet creatures

The bard is in the building
It's a castle
I'm a boss
I bet I'm parliament
I'm positive I'm killing it
I'm iller than the plague
I never caught or cholera
A baller baller
On some cricket bowler business
While you're sitting in the bleachers.

The Cat In The Hat:

You rap fast you do
Yes you rap fast it's true
Now let's see how you rap
Versus Things 1 and 2

Things 1 and 2:

Oh, no
We'll smash your globe
Yo, you may have wrote the script
But now we running the show

You can take your fancy words
And send 'em back home to your mamma
Break our foot off in your ass
With our feetie pajamas

Man we'll cook you up and eat you
with some ham and green eggs
we'll break offa your legs

Make no mistake we in a rage
all does not end well
when we bust out our cage

You're getting upstaged Bill
Yo, you just got played!