Halloween Theme Song

Halloween Night. 1963.

In Haddonfield, Illinois, there would be

a gruesome case of sibling rivalry

between kids in the Myers’ family,

when Michael, a six year old, leisurely

walked into his sister’s room silently

and butchered her body so violently

He left for a mental facility

and when the state hospital deputy

relaxed the maximum security,

then Michael would stop waiting patiently

for another chance at a murder spree.

His Doctor Sam Loomis tried legally

to put him away for eternity,

said “my patient has no humanity”

but others did not exactly agree.

They said, “Michael was the epitome

of the ideal patient’s activity,

no crying, no talking, no moving,

he would just sit and stare absentmindedly”

Yet Fifteen years later, he wandered free,

by breaking out from his captivity,

now all he had left to do was to flee,

back to his old peaceful community,

where his house was sold by Strode Realty,

whose daughter became inevitably,

the subject of all his hostility.

A True Michael Myers authority,

who has the uncanny ability

to suffer no serious injury

while friends who are in her vicinity,

without fail become a casualty.

They fall victim to his insanity.

They’re strangled and mangled creatively.

They’re grabbed and then stabbed hard repeatedly.

They’re decapitated so easily.

You’d think he’d get bored from monotony.

He kills each one individually.

employing equal opportunity.

Its quality versus more quantity.

He’d relive a childhood memory

to the best of his own ability,

but there would not be much difficulty

since he seems to have no mortality,

or reason or conscience, entirely

devoid of any personality.

His sense of life and death and good and evil

Seemed extremely rudimentary.

The Boogeyman’s responsibility

is to maintain the notoriety

of death as an impossibility,

or fade slowly into obscurity.

But you are one miracle prodigy.

You’ve given this killer the third degree.

You’ve vanquished the evil amazingly.

Ignored all your bothersome OCD,

to check up on his heart activity.

So while he is lying there lifelessly,

while you are still breathing so heavily,

you sit there and thank God that finally

it’s over, its done with, and luckily

you planned each potential contingency,

you blinded his eyes temporarily,

you drove that knife through his chest cavity,

you shot him in every extremity,

you forced him right off of the balcony,

there’s no way in hell that he’d

possibly get up and walk right off your property.

That stuff only happens on the tv.

So, you’ll be safe in police custody.

They’ll quickly make a positive ID

of Michael’s cold twisted anatomy.

You’ll garner the neighborhood’s sympathy,

and after a good deal of therapy,

you’ll be back in touch with reality

and understand why, philosophically,

the apple does not fall far from the tree

when creating our own worst enemy.