I'll never tell

ANYA:
This is the man that I plan to entangle
Isn't he fine?
My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle
Vengeance was mine
But I'm out of the biz
The name I made I'll trade for his
The only trouble is...
I'll never tell

XANDER:
She is the one
Such wonderful fun
Such passion and grace
Warm in the night when I'm right in her tight-
Embrace, tight embrace
I'll never let her go
The love we've known can only grow
There's just one thing that - no
I'll never tell

XANDER & ANYA:
'Cause there's nothing to tell

ANYA:
He snores
XAN:
She wheezes
ANYA:
Say 'housework' and he freezes
XAN:
She eats these skeezy cheeses that I can't describe
ANYA:
I talk, he breezes
XAN:
She doesn't know what pleases
ANYA:
His penis got diseases from a Chumash tribe

XANDER & ANYA:
The vibe gets kind of scary
XAN:
Like she thinks I'm ordinary
ANYA:
Like it's all just temporary
XAN:
Like her toes are kind of hairy
XAN & ANYA:
But it's all very well
'Cause God knows I'll never tell

ANYA: When things get rough he
Just hides behind his Buffy
Now look, he's getting huffy
'Cause he knows that I know

XAN:
She clings, she's needy, she's also really greedy
She never-
ANYA:
His eyes are really beady
XAN:
This is my verse, hello!
She-

ANYA:
Look at me! I'm dancing crazy!

XYAN & ANYA:
You know
XAN:
You're quite the charmer
ANYA:
My knight in armor
XAN:
You're the cutest of the Scoobies
With your lips as red as rubies
And your firm yet supple - tight embrace!

ANYA:
He's swell
XAN:
She's sweller
ANYA:
He'll always be my feller
XAN:
That's why I'll never tell her
That I'm petrified
ANYA:
I've read this tale
There's wedding then betrayel
I know there'll come the day I'll want to run and hide

XAN & ANYA:
I lied, I said it's easy
I've tried but there's these fears I can't quell

XAN:
Is she looking for a pot of gold?
ANYA:
Will I look good when I've gotten old?
XAN:
Will our lives become too stressful if I'm never that successful
ANYA:
When I get so worn and wrinkley that I look like David Brinkley
XAN:
Am I crazy?
ANYA:
Am I dreamin'?
XAN:
Am I marrying a demon?

XAN & ANYA:
We could really raise the beam in making marriage a hell
So thank God I'll never tell
I swear that I'll never tell

XAN:
My lips are sealed
ANYA:
I take the fifth
XAN:
Nothin' to see, move it along

XAN & ANYA:
I'll never tell