Tig Ol Bitties

It was the first day back to school.
Cuttin’ up in class.
Actin’ like a tool.
Friends were rollin’ in.
We started talkin’ about the summer.
Deejay saw “Twilight”
Bummer!
I spoke up, and I asked my friends
“Are there any new girls? 9′s or 10′s?
Hopin’ a few hotties had moved from other cities,
And in walked this girl with tig ol’ bitties.
I can’t believe my eyes.
In a contest, they’d win first prize.
Double D guarantee I was checkin’ their size.
It’s like two beach balls in a shirt disguise.
Or Earth and Mars having some fun.
Wait, I take that back it’s like two of the sun.
But at this point I let my mind run,
And drifted off thinking about them tig ol’ bitties.

Tig ol’ bitties.
Mt Fuji brought it’s twin
Tig ol’ bitties.
Two melons in a shirt.
Tig ol’ bitties.
I put books in my lap.
Tig ol’ bitties.
Head bobbing as she walks.
Tig ol’ bitties.
Oh my god!
Tig ol’ bitties.

Kept trippin’ in class,
because of er dang breasts in a tiny white shirt
Boobs having a fiesta.
Later in lab, we were messin’ with test tubes.
Couldn’t take my eyes off the new girl’s chest.
Boobs!
Wasn’t paying attention.
Got busted.
Had to serve detention.
In biology we talked about the bees.
The best kind of bees.
Boobies!
I can’t believe my mind.
I old a poker face to her two of a kind.
With each step her breasts gettin’ redefined.
I’m making my move.
I’m thinking it’s time.
Oh snap!
I’m gonna ask her to prom,
And in my head she responds
“You’re the bomb!”
Feeling nervous so I count to three.
“I like your boobs.”
“Go to prom with me?

Tig ol’ bitties
King Kong boobs.
Tig ol’ bitties.
Great tracks of land.
Tig ol’ bitties.
Like my balls.
Tig ol’ bitties.
Real big.
Tig ol’ bitties.
Oh my god!
Tig ol’ bitties.

She said yes, so I’m getting ready.
Stain on my shirt…
Mom’s spaghetti.
I pick her up, and I’m pretty sure
That she’ll let me motorboat like
br-br-br-br-br.
I try to cop a feel once we get to school.
She said, “no touching. That’s the rule.”
Principal walks up on the scene.
“It’s time to announce prom king and queen.”
“You favorite Martian and Tig Ol’ Bitties.”
“Congratulations to you both on winning.”
Time slowed down, and she jumped for joy.
Then out of her dress jumped something more.
Tissues flew and rained from the sky.
Oh my god!
You stuff your shirt?
Your Favorite Martian in a world of hurt.
Aw!!!
Fake ol’ bitties.
Wow!

Fake o’ bitties!
You’re breaking my heart with
Fake o’ bitties!
You’re crushing my dreams with
Fake ol’ bitties!
I can’t believe it!
Fake ol’ bitties.
You really suck!
Fake ol’ bitties!
I can’t believe you would do that.
Fake ol’ bitties!

Why would you do that when you’re just trying to get everyone’s attention
Stuffed boobs! they’re lies! lies I tell you!
But you know I’m still down to make out if you, if you want to, want to come back with me
Never mind