I Know Its Today

YOUNG FIONA,
(Spoken)
Settle in girls. It's story time! Isn't this fun? It's like a sleep over,
but instead of a pillow fight, there is an insane dragon who incenterates things.
Now where were we? Oh right,

(Sung)
There’s a princess
In a tower
Oh my gosh, that’s just like me
Poor Rapunzel
Needs a haircut
But the witch won’t set her free
She passes time by singing
Like someone else I know
As years go by she sits and waits…
As years go by? Uh oh
A torturous existence
I don’t remember this part!
She wishes she were dead?
Skip ahead skip ahead!
But in the end Rapunzel finds a millionaire
The prince is good at climbing and braiding golden hair!

So I know, he’ll appear
Cause there are rules and there are strictures
I believe the storybooks I read by candlelight
My white knight, and his steed
Will look just like these pictures!
It won’t be long now, I guarantee!
Day number…23.
I know its today
I know its today

TEENSAGE FIONA:
(Spoken)
Oh here's a good one! It's a classic!

(Sung)
There’s a princess
In a coma
Glad its her instead of me.
Pretty maiden
In a glass box
How I wonder does she pee?
Blah blah blah, poison apple
Boring boring evil queen
Filler filler, been there, read that!
Seven shorties on the scene.
Skip ahead, skip ahead…
But in the end the princess wakes up with a start
The prince is good at kissing
And melting Snow White’s heart!

So I know, he’ll appear
And his armor will be blinding!
As shining as his perfect teeth
And then repose
He’ll propose
On one knee
And our prenupt will be binding!
About time we set the wedding date!
Day number…958.
I know it's today.
He’ll show up today....


FIONA:
...ay...
There’s a princess
Any princess
Take your pick, they’re all like me
Not exactly, I’m still waiting
they’re living happily
Ever after better get here
I want love in seconds flat
No one needs these middle bits
Oops, did I do that?

Cut the villains, cut the vamping
Cut this fairytale
Cut the peril and the pitfalls
Cut the puppet and the whale
Cut the monsters, cut the curses
Keep the intro, cut the verses
And the waiting, the waiting, the waiting, the waiting
The waiting!

But I know, he’ll appear
Though I seem a bit bipolar
And I’m a vandal now as well, though he won’t mind
I’m a find, I’m a catch
And a very gifted bowler!
It won’t be long now, I guarantee!
Day number…

Are you there God?
It’s me Fiona…

ALL FIONAS:
It’s me Fiona!

Now I know, he’ll appear
Cause there are rules and there are strictures
I believe the storybooks I read by candlelight
My white knight, my knight and his steed
Will look just like these pictures!
It won’t be long now, I guarantee!

YOUNG FIONA
Day number 23

TEENAGE FIONA
Day number 958

FIONA:
Day number 4823

YOUNG FIONA
I know its today, oooo

TEENAGE FIONA
I know its today, oooo

FIONA,
I know its today, oooo

YOUNG FIONA
I know its today, oooo

TEENAGE FIONA
I know its today, oooo

FIONA,
I Know it's today

ALL FIONAS,
I know it's today!