X Mas In Hell

December 25th 1986, Van Nuys,
Merry Christmas...
Well that's what people say at Christmas right?
Except for normally they have somebody to say it to
They have friends and family
They haven't been crouched naked under a Christmas tree
With a needle in their arm like an insane person
In a mansion in Van Nuys
They're not out of their minds
They're not writing in a diary
And they're definitly not watching their holiday spirit
Coagulate in a spoon
I didn't speak to a single person today
I thought"Why should I ruin their fucking Christmas?"
I've started a new diary and this time I have a few new reasons
One:I have no friends left
Two:So I can read back and remember what I did the day before
and Three: so if I die, at least I leave a nice little suicide note of my life
It's just me and you diary...welcome to my fucking life

Nobody would believe the shit happens inside my head
It's haunted
Now I've come down from the drugs it seems like a sick play
That I saw in a theater somewhere
Thirty minutes ago I could have killed somebody
Or better yet...
Myself