And Then There Were None

MRS. GABOR (Spoken)
Dear Herr Stief - Moritz,
I’ve spent the entire day thinking about your note
Truly it touched me – it did – that you would think of me as a friend
Of course, I was saddened to hear that
Your exams came off rather less well than you'd hoped
And that you will not be promoted, come fall
And, yet, I must say straightaway that fleeing to America is hardly the solution
And, even if it were, I cannot provide the money you request…

MORITZ
Uh huh…uh huh…uh huh…well, fine
Not like it’s even worth the time
But still, you know, you wanted more
Sorry, it won’t change – been there before

MRS. GABOR (Spoken)
You would do me wrong, Herr Stiefel to read into my refusal any lack of affection
On the contrary, as Melchior’s mother, I truly believe it to be my duty to curb this momentary loss…

MORITZ
The thing that sucks- okay?- for me
A thousand bucks, I’m, like, scott free
And I mean, please…That’s all I need
Get real, Jose!
By now you know the score…

MRS. GABOR (Spoken)
Should you like, I am ready to write your parents
I will try to convince them that no one could’ve worked harder last semester
And also that too rigorous a condemnation of your current misfortune
Could have the gravest possible effect on…

MORITZ
You wanna laugh, it’s too absurd
You start to ask, can’t hear a word
You’re gonna crash and burn
Right, tell me more…

MRS. GABOR (Spoken)
Still, Herr Stiefel, one thing in your letter disturbed me
Your – what shall we call it? – veiled threat that should escape not be possible
You would take your own life…

MORITZ
Okay, so now we do the play
Act like we so care. No way!
You’ll write my folks? Well, okay
Babe, that’s how it goes…

MRS. GABOR (Spoken)
My dear boy, the world is filled with men –
Businessmen, scientists, scholars even who have done rather poorly in school
And yet, gone on to brilliant careers
Consider for example our friend...

MORITZ
They freak or won't
You toe the line
You tell your soul, “Just kill some time.”
Will it quit? It will until they don’t…

They’re not my home, not anymore
Not like they so were before
Still, I’ll split, and they’ll like…
Well, who knows?

MRS. GABOR (Spoken)
In any case, I assure you that
your present misfortune will have no effect on my feelings for you
Or, on your relationship with Melchior…

MORITZ & BOYS
Uh huh…uh huh…uh huh…well, fine
Not like it’s even worth the time
But still, you know, you wanted more
Okay, so nothing’s changed – heard that before

You wanna laugh, it’s too absurd
You start to ask, can’t hear a word
You wanna crash and burn
Right, tell me more

You start to cave, you start to cry
You try to run, nowhere to hide
You want to crumble up, and close that door

MRS. GABOR (Spoken)
So, head high, Herr Stiefel!
And do let me hear from you soon
In the meantime, I am unchangingly, and most fondly yours,
Fanny Gabor

MORITZ
Just fuck it – right? Enough, that’s it
You’ll still go on – well, for a bit
Another day of utter shit
And then there were none…

MORITZ & BOYS
And, then there were none…
And, then there were none…
And, then there were none…