Kill the director

I've met someone that makes me feel seasick
Oh, what a skill to have
Oh, what a skill to have
So many skills that make her distinctive
But they're not mine to have
No they're not mine

Whenever she looks I read the nearest paper
No, I don't care about the soaps
No, I don't care about the soaps
Though I'm acting like I'm in an Eastenders episode

If this is a rom-com
Kill the director
If this is a rom-com
Kill the director, please

Carrots help us see much better in the dark
Don't talk to girls; they'll break your heart
And this is my head and this is my spout
But they work together; they can't figure anything out

So with the angst of a teenage band
Here's another song about a gender I'll never understand
Here's another song about a gender I'll never understand

If this is a rom-com
Kill the director
If this is a rom-com
Kill the director
If this is a rom-com
Kill the director, please

This is no Bridget Jones
This is no Bridget, Bridget...

This is no Bridget,
Bridget Jones