Slow Burn

It begins with a dark glowing ember
Something black burning its way out of me
Searing the flesh
Pain is the only thing I feel
Scars all I see

Oh no the fires burning my insides again
What can I do to silence my desire tonight
Flames consuming reason
Leaving only ashes left
You will catch me regretting my decision

I can't keep telling myself what I want to hear
I can't just close my eyes

I know that
It's killing me
And it’s poisoning the best in me
What I see I don’t want to believe
So let me tell you more
About the lies I lead

This is how I’ve chosen to douse the flames
Broken teeth replace blackout memories
Wreckage from the past haunts me, shakes me to the bone
I know its over but I can’t go home tonight

But after this I feel as empty as before
Feel the pain and yet I’m still begging for more
Masochistic nihilistic urging backward thought
My life’s a mess and I cant find a way to fix it

I know that
It's killing me
And it’s poisoning the best in me
What I see I don’t want to believe
So let me tell you more
About the lies I lead

Calling calling out
The darkest reaches of my soul are riddled with self doubt
Crawling crawling out
My will to fight will more than suffice when others would lay down.

It’s only as dark as you make it

I know that
It's killing me
And it’s poisoning the best in me
What I see I don’t want to believe
So let me tell you more
About the lies I lead