Why's Everybody Always Pickin' On Me?

Why is everybody always pickin' on me?

The morn'
The morn'
The morn'

The morn' that I was born my old man beat up the doctor
He clocked the doctor 'cause the doctor said I looked like Chewbacca
The doctor said sir you're misled sir which infers you mistook me
I did not mean your lovely wife was shackin' up with a Wookiee
What I mean is Wolverine is less hairy than your son
He's looks like Chewie Baba Booey Baba Booey and a "Hong Kong Phooey" all in one
To put it mild your newborn child's completely nutty fufu lookin'
I'd shove him back into the oven until he is done cookin'

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?
'Cause my fifteen-year-old cousin has less acne
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?
Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?
'Cause you've got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?
'Cause you're white but got a nose like Bill Cosby

Why's everybody always pickin' on me?
Always pickin' and rippin' apart poor ol' Jimmy Pop Ali
I got a schnoz like the Cos but there's a lot more wrong with you
So back me up Bill yeah and you're ugly too
So what if I brush my teeth with a piece of cheddar cheese
Or wear a fishnet shirt by Chams with my Sergio Valenti jeans
And my mirror never lies but it always verifies
I got more cheese and pepperoni than a homemade pizza pie
You compare me to a Monchichi but I don't understand
Why I'm scorned like I'm deformed like the Elephant Man
And yeah I took my mom to the prom but hey she asked me first
But at least this time I didn't find my date in the back of a hearse
About as popular with the girls as Englebert Humperdinck
And that might be 'cause everybody calls me Shrinky Dink
I know I'm known as Polaroid I'm not a total retard It's 'cause I'm done in sixty seconds and you'll still want it enlarged

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?
'Cause you wore velour flares until the late Eighties
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?
'Cause you run like a girl and you sit down to pee
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?
'Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?
You took your mom to the prom but got lucky

Like that episode where Gilligan gets sick of being teased
And he breaks into the Professor's lab and makes some L.S.D.
Peaks freaks and eats the Skipper's brains then beats Ginger with coconuts
As Mr. Howell and Lovey burn alive inside of their grass hut
Oh he'll kill again that Gilligan they should have let him be
And like a postal clerk I'll go berserk if you don't stop teasin' me
See the trick is only pick on those that can't do you no harm
Like the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm

But why's everybody always pickin' on me?
'Cause my fifteen-year-old cousin has less acne
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?
Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?
'Cause you've got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?
'Cause you're white but got a nose like Bill Cosby
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?
'Cause you wore velour flares until the late Eighties
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?
'Cause you run like a girl and you sit down to pee
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?
'Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady
But why's everybody always pickin' on me?
'Cause no one likes you monkey boy