Alone

whilst i thought i was climbing
i found myself descending
having lost my way let me go up
having lost my way let me go down
i have no other work to do
it would have been better
no to be the mother
it is sorrowful
when a son goes away
let alone
and when he dies
i watched quietly
when the grave was being dug
knowing that he won't come back
and i shall not be here
for much longer
even if i become
like a king or like the wind
never
never will death
stay away
but when he called me from above
neither voice nor word to say yes
we just quietly say yes to him
it is a debt
which must be paid
here is your flesh
take it from me
it seems to me
that you can't destroy it
having spent the day with pain
am i going to spend the night with pain?
this living to eat
is so tiring for me
i am feeling cold inside
let me go on seeking fire
even death is better
than this useless life
the mast of a ship
a nakedness
the leader of whores
sheds the female breast
he tramples down
the vast furnace
Godlike and piercing
binding and bitter
and cleaving asunder
bones bound together
and paleness breaking
and rending
abiding in a place
tending into nothingness
dampness tending onto corruption
corruption
corruption
corruption
and merchants in trembling
dragged down into horror
terrible and whirling
the dust in the palm
sublime circumcision
solitude and desolation
a goatherd unto lost
all destruction
grinding thin powder
withering and fading
the reaping-hook of dullness
earth thrown up
all flesh turn
the mountains are cast out
lions trembling with fury
thy braking in my barrenness
the destroyer of days
the silent lion
we know him fury
the death of flesh
he moves with a creeping motion
they destroy by the sky flame
of their smoky breath
the painbringers
they shriek with a
long
drawn
cry