Back When I Was Four

Back when I was 4 and I knew the name of every dinosaur
I knew how to read ROM comic books
My babysitter said I was really smart
When the lights went out everything changed
The radio music made me feel strange
And I had a real bad dream about a gorilla in the bathroom

Back when I was 6 I took everything real serious
And I thought that every song that came on the radio
Was referring to strange sexual acts
Because they thought I wouldn't know the facts
And being small is hard and no one ever tells you how

And back when I was 8 I'd sit outside on an old milk crate
And look out at the world from the stoop across the street
The boomboxes and the hot concrete
And every Halloween they hung
A million rubber skeletons across ninth street.

Back when I was 12 or so I swear to god I never felt so low
Everyone but me was making out and eating cookies
I had more than my brain could stand
I threw my life in a garbage can
I felt so weird
I had to disappear
In crying suicide disease.

At 15 getting stoned felt good and it sent me back to childhood
And nothing ever mattered to me more than that.

But then 16 became eclipse
My brain became apocalypse
I was lost and found and I've never been the same.

Back when I was 22 I left the best thing that I knew
and I gave it up for fortune and for fame
I played like I didn't know how
I shocked the world
I wowed the crowd
But I deserved more than what they gave

Back when I was 27 still nothing had been forgiven
Clay turns into rock and rock just sits
So sitting on a crowded beach
I'd pretend I was a leach
And stick to things here and there for a little bit

Back when I was 31 I knew I'd become what I'd become
Nothing left to reveal
And nowhere else to turn
So shocked and withered dumb and bitter
And in need of a babysitter
I'd gladly let my hand fall off and burn burn burn

Back when I turned the big 4-0 I realized just how much there was to go
And I started to think that being alone forever
Wasn't where it was at
So I pulled my head out of the window
And I taught myself how to love real fast
I started talking about painting
With a woman in the laundromat

Back when I was 50 and my first wife had just left me
I felt okay and I sang my daughter
Funny little songs
And just when I thought the best was past
I fell in love for real at last
And it didn't even matter that it had taken me so long

Back when I was 63 the public rediscovered me
My comic books and records had all become rare cult-collector items
Both my parents were deceased
So they didn't see my records get re-released
And I got a dog for the first time in my life

Back when I was 74 my dog died and I got two more
I still felt really good about my daughter
And also about my girlfriend
And I'd sing and draw a little bit
But mostly I'd wake up early and sit
And hang out with the puppies and wish that I could live forever

Back when I was 87 my grandson had just turned eleven
My woman was dead
And my dogs were getting pretty old
My body didn't work quite like it should
But overall things were pretty good
I was getting decent royalties from the reissued comic books and records

Back when I was 106
My only friend
Was one goldfish
Everyone I ever knew was dead and gone
The goldfish never had a name
And the neighbors thought I was insane
And I flushed it down the toilet when I saw it floating upside down
*
Back when I was 128 I would sit outside on an old milk crate
And look out at the world from the stoop across the street
The boomboxes and the hot concrete
And every Halloween they hung
A million rubber skeletons across 9th street
Every Halloween they hung
A million rubber skeletons
Every Halloween they hung
A million rubber skeletons
Every Halloween they hung
A million rubber skeletons