Everyday Normal Guy

I’m just a regular everyday normal guy…Nothin’ special bout me Mutha Fucka.
I’m just a regular everyday normal guy…When I go to the clubs I wait in line Mutha Fucka.
I’m just a regular everyday normal guy…I got $600 in da bank Mutha Fucka.
I’m just a regular everyday normal guy…And my sexual performance is an average.

I work at customer service
for a phone company,
I make 12 bucks an hour
but that’s all I need.
I live in a small apartment
on a quiet street
I don’t go out too much
I like to watch TV
I cant afford a car
I use public transportation
I don’t mind
I read till I reach my destination
sometimes a newspaper, sometimes a book
the amount of money I save,
this shit is off the hook

And I’m not very good with the women
I’m a pretty shy person
and I’m average looking
last time I had sex was in 2003
and I’m ashamed to admit it
but it wasn’t free

I’m just a regular everyday normal guy…I get nervous in social situations Mutha Fucka.
I’m just a regular everyday normal guy…I get constipated once a month Mutha Fucka.
I’m just a regular everyday normal guy…And i make pretty good spaghetti sauce Mutha Fucka.
I’m just a regular everyday normal guy..and I get scared when I go see da dentist.

I’m da “Pauly Shore” of everyday life
easily forgettable
and I’m not very liked
I have an “According to Jim” personality
I’m as entertaining as a fuckin’ STD

If you wanna mess with me
I think you probably can
because I’m not confident
and i am weak for a man
I’ll just roll up in a ball
while you kick me in da back, yeah
honestly I probably wont fight back
And I don’t have any friends
that would back me up
My friend Steve would
but he doesn’t look very tough.

Steve – “You want some of this bitch?”

If you rarely get laid
put your hands up
If you’re not well paid
put your hands up
If you got a pet cat
put your hands up
and if you got a bad back
put your hands up

Jon – “I hurt my back 2 summers ago moving a fridge and ever since then it just not da same …you know it… it gets pre…It gets pretty sore!”

I’m just a regular everyday normal guy…My parents are really nice people Mutha Fucka.
I’m just a regular everyday normal guy…I’m somewhat afraid of heights Mutha Fucka.
I’m just a regular everyday normal guy…I like da show greys anatomy Mutha Fucka.
I’m just a regular everyday normal guy…and I’m pretty good at making paper planes.

Steve – “I could do this all day! I could do this all day! I could do this all day!”