Everyday Normal Guy 2

I’m just a regular everyday normal muthafucka…
I told you in the first song, I’ll tell you in another.
I’m just a regular everyday normal motherfucker…
I don’t have a girlfriend my hand’s my only lover.
I’m just a regular everyday normal muthafucka…
One night a week my mom likes to cook me supper.
I’m just a regular everyday normal motherfucker…
And Michael Keaton was my favorite Batman.

I was walking down the street just the other day
I saw these two fine bitches
they were walkin’ my way
“Yo whatchu girls doin tonight?”
is what I wanted to say
but suddenly I panicked
my voice started to shake.
so I put my head down
and I just walked away
I had a bus to catch anyway,
it worked out great.
Got on the bus put my headphones on and pressed play
Sheryl Crow, James Blunt, and motherfuckin Ace of Base.
Yo, what can I say,
it’s just a day in my life
I’m up early in the morning
in bed early at night.
To be productive at work
I gotta be well rested.
Yeah muthafucka,
you heard what I just said.

I’m just a regular everyday normal muthafucka…
I don’t like margarine I much prefer the taste of butter.
I’m just a regular everyday normal motherfucker…
My favorite movies as a kid were Superman and Ghostbusters.
I’m just a regular everyday normal muthafucka…
I have a hard time opening my eyes under water.
I’m just a regular everyday normal motherfucker…
and I’m not a huge Nicholas Cage fan.

I’m from a
lower-middle class family,
me and my brothers and sisters
played hide and seek,
I have good memories
from my childhood bitch,
my favorite toy
was my fuckin fire truck bitch,
I used to play with that motherfucker all day long,
until I learned about sex from the Sears catalog
and then I played with my muthafucka all day long
about 10 times a day man, all year long.
My favorite song motherfucker
I don’t like to admit it
is a Celine Dion song
from the movie Titanic.
“Every night in my dreams,
I see you…I feel you…”
Every time I hear that fuckin shit
a tear comes to my eye.
Why the fuck did Leonardo Di Caprio have to die?
Though I’m not afraid to say
that I’m a sensitive guy,
sticks and stones break my bones
but it’s the words that make me cry.
Like that time in Grade 3
when a girl called me stupid face,
she really hurt me,
why’d she call me stupid face?
Is my face stupid?
How’s that even possible?
A person can be stupid
but a face? That’s impossible.
Shit happens all the time
and you learn how to deal with it,
Regular, everday, normal fuckin’ bullshit.

I’m just a regular everyday normal muthafucka…
When I get into a fight I usually leave on a stretcher.
I’m just a regular everyday normal motherfucker…
When I got nothin’ to say I usually talk about the weather.
I’m just a regular everyday normal muthafucka…
I like the 1st Back to the Future but the 2nd one was better.
I’m just a regular everyday normal motherfucker…
I like red peppers better than the green ones.
Ooooohoooooo…savin up my money
to go buy a new dishwasher.
Mine broke about 6 months ago.
Mother fucker.
Go Go Go Go
Go shorty, it’s your birthday,
Go party like it’s your birthday.
I wasn’t invited, but it’s okay.
I’ll just stay at home and play some video games.

Steve: You want some of this? Come and get it.