Help Me Disappear

to completely dissolve,
what method is used
i cannot sleep,
my hands are bruised
there's a hole in the wall,
torn up anew
one dead eye,
the colour of you

to vanish for life
and promise to stay
away from the knowing,
bird in a cage
i'd give so much
for the courage to go
if i ask for your help,
then you will know

so help me disappear
or to believe in a change
no way out of here
that i can see
or the nightmares that burn
into my head at night
make them disappear
so i can breathe

looked out the window twice,
just to be sure
that noone was standing
outside the door
but it's just as calm
as it was before
they're all gone now,
not there anymore

isolated myself
for the sake of freedom
i clenched my fist
for the sake of kindness
i read a book full of strange
words
loneliness is a disease