Fujunbutsu

thirteen o'clock
* the clock's hands show
i think of you harshly
** in all the world, just the two of us
half-hearted, blaming, the dream midway

cranking violently, reddening

if i close my lips up tight
lovely, grotesque, multicoloured
lies, but even so "i love you."

*
not melting, not melting, not dissolving, sinking

** fading, vanishing, getting transparent, what if we disappear
piled up, piled up, lying atop one another, you and i
the bottom of our hearts, impurities

sad because you're not in control?


such bothersome tears
look, can't you see, i'll give you everything
it may be a lie, but accept it anyway


*
melting, melting, dissolving into one another, what if we joined
we'd die, get lost, disappear, we'd be done for
chilly, freezing, coldhearted are the two of us
the bottom of our hearts, impurities

if it's compassion, follow the hand clapping
if it's emotion, it's unaccounted for
love is a hinderace; an advance notice of its withdrawal
love is garbage, let's just dispose of it


**
not melting, not melting, not dissolving, sinking
fading, vanishing, getting transparent, what if we disappear
piled up, piled up, lying atop one another, you and i

the bottom of our hearts
gathering up
the bottom of our hearts
piling them up

and all that's left, impurities--.