Robot girlfriend

I've never had too much luck with females
I'm not confident unless I'm writing an email
But my life would be so sublime
If I bought a robot girl online

I'd never hear her silicon mouth complaining
about my dry scalp or my excessive gaming
She's my Small Wonder, I'm her Voltron
I flip a switch and it turns her on!

My robot girlfriend...the best relationship I'd ever be in

She's got a grip stronger than an ape
And she can calculate a tip to the twenty-fifth decimal place
Though we can't go outside in rainy weather
We can still play solitaire together

Meeting her folks would be no real cause for fear
They're just a team of friendly Japanese engineers
If I ever start to think that she might leave me
I'll de-frag her hard drive and wipe her memory

My robot girlfriend...the best relationship I'd never be in.