What's Real

What’s real in me and what is make believe?
I feel empty when I take what I receive.
My head’s not spinning.I’m back at the beginning.
My heart is numb now and I must wake it somehow.

My heart is beating but it’s under control.
My head’s defeating both my heart and my soul.
After retreating to a dark little hole…
Cold comfort filling, killing, blocking my goal to get out.

What can I see and how much am I missing?
This plan for breaking free – foiled by reminiscing.
My love is like a shadow when there’s no Sun in the sky.
I ride off into battle knowing I’m gonna die.

You are amazing and I wish I could love you.
Your heart is blazing and mine’s just like a rock.
There is a door in me, I’m gonna need to break down
‘cause I can’t find the key that fits the lock.

I’m thinking I must be missing something inside.
I’m thinking maybe when my heart broke it actually died.
Weak to begin with maybe I should never have tried.
And now I can’t, baby can’t, baby why, why, WHY!?