A Couple of Swells

We're a couple of swells
We stop at the best hotels
But we prefer the country far away from the city smells

We're a couple of sports
The pride of the tennis courts
In June, July and August we look cute when we're dressed in shorts

The Vanderbilts have asked us up for tea
We don't know how to get there, no sirree
No sirree...
We would ride up the avenue
but we haven't got the price
We would skate up the avenue
but there isn't any ice
We would ride on a bicycle
but we haven't got a bike
So we'll walk up the avenue
Yes we'll walk up the avenue
and to walk up the avenue's what we like

Wall Street bankers are we
With plenty of currency
We'd open up the safe but we forgot where we put the key

We're the favourite lads
Of girls in the picture ads
We'd like to tell who we kissed last night but we can't be cads

The Vanderbilts are waiting at the club
But how are we to get there, that's the rub
That's the rub...
We would sail up the avenue
but we haven't got a yacht
We would ride up the avenue
but the horse we had was shot
We would go on a trolleycar
but we haven't got the fare
So we'll walk up the avenue
Yes we'll walk up the avenue
And we'll walk up the avenue till we're there

(bridge)

We would swim up the avenue
but we haven't any lake
So we'll walk up the avenue
Yes we'll walk up the avenue
Yes a walk up the avenue's what we'll take!