Ill Never Tell

Anya:
This is the man that I plan to entangle
Isn't he fine?
My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle
Vengeance was mine
But I'm out of the biz
The name I made I'll trade for his
The only trouble is...
I'll never tell

Xander:
She is the one she's such wonderful fun
Such passion and grace
Warm in the night when I'm right
In her tight--
embrace,
Tight embrace
I'll never let her go
The love we've known can only grow
There's just one thing that--
No.
I'll never tell
Both:
'cause there's
Nothing to tell

Anya:
He snores
Xander:
She wheezes
Anya:
Say "housework," and he freezes
Xander:
She eats these Skeezy cheeses
That I can't describe

Anya:
I talk,
He breezes
Xander:
She doesn't know
What please is
Anya:
His penis got diseases
From a chumash tribe
Both:
The vibe gets kind of scary
Xander:
Like she thinks I'm ordinary
Anya:
Like it's all just temporary
Xander:
Like her toes are kind of hairy
But it's all very well
Both:
'Cause, god knows,
I'll never tell


Anya:
When things get rough
He just hides behind his Buffy
Now look, he's getting huffy
'Cause he knows that I know

Xander:
She clings,
She's needy
She's also really greedy
She never--
Anya:
His eyes are beady
Xander:
(spoken)
This is my verse,
Hello? She--


Anya:
Look at me!
I'm dancin' crazy!

Both:
You know
You're quite the charmer

Anya:
My knight in armour
Xander:
You're the cutest of the scoobies
With your lips as red as rubies
And your firm yet supple--
Tight embrace


Anya:
He's swell
Xander:
She's sweller

Anya:
He'll always be my feller
Xander:
That's why I'll never
Tell her that I'm petrified

Anya:
I've read this tale
There's wedding
Then betrayal
I know there'll come the day
I'll want to run and hide

Both:
I lied
I said it's easy
I've tried
But there's these fears I can't quell
Xander:
Is she looking for a pot of gold?

Anya:
Will I look good when I've gotten old?
Xander:
Will our lives become too stressful
If I'm never that successful?

Anya:
When I get so worn and wrinkly
That I look like David Brinkley
Xander:
Am I crazy?
Anya:
Am I dreamin'?
Xander:
Am I marrying
A demon?
Both:
We could
Really raise the beam
In makin' marriage a hell
So, thank god,
I'll never tell
I swear
That I'll never tell
Xander:
My lips
Are sealed
Anya:
I take the fifth
Xander:
Nothing to see,
Move it along
Both:
I'll never
Tell