The Mechanical Girl

In the court of Augustine The Twelfth
The king reprimanded his men
And demanded they
Put to good use all his wealth to cure his deep ennui

For you see, he found that he was sad and lonely
Ever since his wife, the queen, got mad and
Rode off on his steed

In a glen beyond the castle wall
There was a tinker
And he was a thinker
The smartest man in all the world
He made a mechanical girl

For you see, his daughter passed away that summer
And though he knew he could not replace her
He missed his family

Suddenly a knock at the door went ra-ta-ta-ta-ta
And the kingsmen came in blowing horns ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
"By order of His Highness
We're to take you and that...thing
To present your marvel to the king."

And so, over glen and through the castle walls
Over the moat, and into the great castle hall
When her master urged,
The robot girl emerged

When the king laid eyes upon the girl
He was delighted
His men all were knighted
He yelled aloud for all the world
"I'll take her for my queen!"

And the man screamed
"Please don't take my child!
I beg you, mighty king!"
And they grabbed him by his tailcoat
And threw him in the moat

Later in their wedding bed
The king was shocked to see
A tender kiss upon the cheek
Unleashed an armory
Rocket launchers and flamethrowing guns
Grew from her sides
And she grew to seven times her size

Run!

On the morn of August twenty-fourth
He was dejected when lest he expected
A knock was heard upon the door
It was his robot girl

For you see, he'd made her indestructible
It seems and she destroyed that awful kingdom
And they lived happily.

So you see, the moral of the story is:
Never take a child away from a loving parent
Especially not ones who make children who shoot rockets from their eye